Late last night, I imagine that the Weinstein Brothers were swirling their scotch, puffing stogies and laughing at their impressive feat. A feat which felt awfully familiar to anyone paying attention. Back in 1998, thanks to the shameless promoting of these super-shark siblings, a little film they produced called “Shakespeare in Love” went on to win one of the most undeserving Best Picture awards in history. In case you forgot, it beat out “Saving Private Ryan.” Their movie “The Artist” was a lot more deserving than “Shakespeare” and was appreciated by most of those who saw it. After seeing it last week, I still can’t figure why an educated academy saw it as superior to “Hugo” or perhaps “The Help.”
I understand that people were seduced by the novelty of a modern-age silent film, an engaging story and good acting, but did it really amount to a Best Picture-caliber presentation? Well, apparently yes. I’d love to hear an educated film critic explain to me why “The Artist” should be considered superior to “Hugo.” The latter was oceanic in depth. To me, “The Artist” was a cute film which would have barely been worth the price of admission without one of the most lovable canine actors to ever grace the screen. Uggie, the Jack Russell Terrier, should have won an Oscar instead of Jean Dujardin. The actor’s hammy performance certainly didn’t scrape the barrel like Roberto Benigni who stole an Oscar for “Life is Beautiful” in 1998 (gosh, that was a depressing year.) However, like Benigni, chances are American audiences have seen the last of Dujardin (he’s no Christoph Waltz). I will say that his giddy and gracious acceptance speech made his win a little more palatable.
The Red Carpet pre-show was quite enjoyable this year even though two out of the four ABC correspondents were awkward and uninspired. The two that weren’t, Louise Roe and Tim Gunn, picked up the slack. I’ve been a red carpet reporter (not for the Oscars unfortunately) and know how hard it can be. Roe did a great job with her questioning and seeming natural with the stars. Gunn can surely be a little much for some but he is a fashion guru and that’s what the red carpet is all about. However, he does lose points for being a fan of Emma Stone’s red dress. That bow was ill-advised. There were some superbly-dressed women out there like Rooney Mara (what an ice princess she is), Penelope Cruz, Octavia Spencer, Jennifer Lopez (she has unwavering faith in adhesives) and Michelle Williams.
I’m admittedly a big, emotional sap, so I can’t deny that one of my favorite parts of the whole presentation was the “Mominess” segment during the first hour of the red carpet show. It was a brilliantly-conceived piece featuring the mothers of several nominees gushing about their kids. It was incredibly touching to hear their perspective and have their famous (in most cases) children be brought down to earth as a son or daughter of a loving mother. Gary Oldman’s mother Kay was adorable. It made me wish he would win even though he had no chance. It was cool hearing George Clooney’s mom mention his definitive scene in “The Descendants” and how she never thought he was capable of something like that. You could feel the pride pouring off the screen.
The intro to the Oscar show was one of the best in history. The opening montage with Billy Crystal filling roles in many of the nominated films was genius. Justin Bieber may have launched his acting career with an amusing, charismatic cameo. Crystal’s monologue was sharp, including one of the funniest lines ever delivered at the Academy Awards. Something to the effect of: “Nothing relieves the economic sting like watching millionaires present millionaires with gold statues.” Then his song and dance routine, which everyone was looking forward to, absolutely killed. He couldn’t have nailed it any better. Those changes in pitch and cadence with the lyrics were very challenging and handled seamlessly. The joke at Jonah Hill’s expense was in poor taste but he finished strong. The rest of his hosting was solid if unspectacular. However, he is definitely a comforting presence on the Kodak stage and did enough to earn a spot as a perennial host.
This was an Oscars where I was really starting to think: “They are getting it right this year.” Hugo went on an early run. “Rango” won Best Animated Feature. Alexander Payne and Co. picked up another Adapted Screenplay award for “The Descendants.” Even “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” got a little love for Film Editing. We had reached the mountaintop of Oscar justice with Christopher Plummer earning his first statue at age 82. Go figure he had to play gay to get it. His speech was so charming with his accent, mustache and velvet tux. It wasn’t quite Elway winning the Super Bowl, but it was a triumphant crowd pleaser. Not long after, the reality of Oscar politics delivered a cold, hard thud with Michael Hazanavicius’ win for Best Director. All the air was let out of the room as it became a foregone conclusion that “The Artist” would sweep the big three.
It was rather odd how the producers of the show chose to weave all these sexual innuendos throughout the night. It started with Sandra Bullock talking up “sexy time” on the red carpet, which didn’t really make much sense. Next we got the gift of a gratuitous rear end view of Cameron Diaz and J-Lo while they were presenting. Whose ever idea that was, thank you! Moments like that make me wish I had DVR. Then the women from “Bridesmaids” started their presentation about Live Action Short with size jokes. By that point, maybe things had gone a little too far.
It’s officially time to worry about Angelina Jolie. It’s ok if she wants to be anorexic or bulimic on her own time, but don’t stick it in the face of a global audience. She had no business being a presenter in that condition. No length of slit exposing your long legs is going to distract us from your twiggy arms Angie. You are setting a horrible example for women of the world and for your kids. Brad must be appalled. Get help! While I’m at it, I’m not sure of her name, but the short haired brunette from “Bridesmaids” wasn’t looking much better.
I had a feeling it was Meryl’s year and it was nice to see her win. However, I though her speech was off the mark. It was silly of her to start out with a self-depreciating comment, “I felt like when my name was announced, all of America groaned, ‘Not her again.’” Hey Meryl, yes you’ve been nominated 17 times but lest you forget that you haven’t won since 1982? And you might like to know that America likes you quite a bit. It would have been nice to see Viola Davis or Michelle Williams win but how could anyone argue against Meryl in a role nobody else could have played. I loved how Meryl stopped to embrace Viola at her seat on her way up to the stage. It was sweet how she honored her nominees and all her friends in the room. It was a major oversight though not to mention anyone involved with “The Iron Lady” or acknowledge Margaret Thatcher herself. Plus, she treated it like a lifetime achievement award saying, “I’ll never be back on this stage.”
If the Oscars are so committed to having a streamlined, three-hour show, they need to get their priorities straight. We didn’t need the faux focus group about “The Wizard of Oz” or one of the other humorous fillers which escapes my mind right now. On the other hand, the Cirque du Soleil performance was dazzling and fit in well. It is shameful to cut off winners of the top awards like Octavia Spencer. The poor thing is getting “WRAP UP NOW” flashed before her like 30 seconds into her acceptance speech. I know that has become the norm but it still is uncool. I’d have to say that the standing ovation earned by Spencer was surprising. Usually the Oscar audience is more discriminating with their standing o’s. It goes to show how universally respected her performance in “The Help” was. Regardless, very humbling for an actress who most people had never heard of before last year.
Bits and Pieces:
Stacy Keibler was the most gorgeous woman in the Kodak Theater last night. She is more stunning than any actress in Hollywood. You know why? Because of how natural and comfortable she is in her own skin. There’s a good reason why there was an iso-camera on her and Mr. Clooney throughout the show. Don’t let her get away George!
Jason Segel had to be the happiest guy at the Oscars who didn’t win an award. On the red carpet he admitted how star struck he was. After “Man or Muppet” won for Best Original Song, he was beaming with pride and holding back tears. He must have cut quite a swath through the after-show party scene last night.
On that subject, how in the world were there only two original songs worthy of being nominated this year? And, with only two songs, how could the producers not fit in time for life performances? They always used to. A Muppet performance would have brought the house down.
I liked the increased showing of mutual respect among nominees. More than ever, winners took the time to praise their fellow nominees with great sincerity. I especially liked when Ludovic Bource, a first time winner for Original Score for “The Artist” stopped on his way to the stage to shake the hand of legendary composer, John Williams. Pretty impressive that Williams, at age 80, is not only still composing but was nominated this year for two different films.
The other funniest moment of the night was when Billy Crystal read the minds of select audience members. The drunken, growly belch he summoned from Nick Nolte’s conscience was daring, hilarious and probably not too far from the truth.
It was great that Woody Allen won for Best Original Screenplay but it’s hard to feel to happy for someone who doesn’t ever see it fit to come to the ceremony. I wonder if he watches at home or even cares at all.
There was a question many of us were contemplating during the show…What in the hell was up with Tom Cruise’s face in the interview segments?! He looked like a totally different person and slightly deformed. Does he normally wear that much makeup, did he get a facelift or is he undergoing some weird Scientology cosmetic procedure? I can’t believe his agent would allow that footage to be run.
Speaking of the interview montages, they were awesome. Whoever was doing the questioning got some incredibly candid responses from the actors. I especially liked seeing Edward Norton and hearing what he had to say. He is one of my favorites who has been off the map for too long. I’m glad to see that he has a few movies coming out soon.
Is there a cooler guy on Earth than Chris Rock? He looked like such a bad ass on the red carpet. If the suits don’t think Billy Crystal is the answer, Rock’s phone will be ringing soon. There is such a small pool of people who are up to the task. I like Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin too.
Good move by the ABC cameras never giving Sascha Baron Cohen any direct screen time. Considering that he was there in support of a serious film like “Hugo,” it was such a tacky move on his part to pull a publicity stunt and dress as the lead character from his forthcoming movie, “The Dictator.” I am the kind of person who can’t bear five minutes of “Borat” so it was very refreshing to see his deeply committed, heartfelt performance as The Inspector. I hope for more of that in his future and less of the offensive, comedic nonsense. Scorcese clearly loves him.
The Oscars always feel incomplete without Jack Nicholson. We miss you buddy! It seems like his film career might be over so I guess we’ll have to wait for the lifetime achievement award to see him back in the Kodak.